Up to a few weeks ago, (or maybe just last week),! I would have defined the word “Finally” completely different.
Finally has always meant to me; “I got the job”! Or, “I finally made enough money”; “my business is kicking butt”; “my ministry is big”, “my book is a success”, “my kids are Godly”, “the contract is done”, “my ship has come in”, my… what is “Finally” to you?
I think most of us have been taught in Western Christianity, or just taught, that finally means worldly success. And, don’t get me wrong, there is truth to that. We are made to conquer, achieve, create excellence in our lives… but… I believe performance, at least for me, has replaced character, rest, trust and sometimes obedience.
I know a person that has gone round and round the same mountain. He works hard on a project, uses integrity, believes that his family will be blessed from his hard work and diligence, and then, whatever he is working on dies. I have seen him work and work and work, and, at the end, for nothing. His “Finally” never comes. It really has been amazing to watch; he is owed money, he was promised income, even great prosperity, and… nothing. For years, over 10, I have seen him blame people, blame circumstance, blame God, sometimes even blame his spouse. People actually did owe him money, made big promises, and didn’t pay him when they should have and could have; so, I watched him feel justified and yet, distraught, even devastated in his heart.
And so, a week or so ago, it came alive in my spirit, my mind. “Finally” is when you come to the end of yourself. When you “Finally” have joy that makes no sense. When you are “Finally” empty and it feel’s perfect! Where space and time, blessing or curse, prosperity or poverty do not matter… Finally to me is now… surrender.