When I was 25 years old, I was in love and married to a wonderful man, and we had two little girls.
When I was 25 ½, I was suddenly widowed and a single mother to a 2 and 4 year old. Of course my pain was intense, but watching my baby girls suffer was unbearable. Loneliness and grief are a powerful combination.
All three of us felt the weight of loss every day of our lives.
My profession had me speaking in middle schools and high schools, and counseling troubled young girls 10 hours a day. Every one of these hurting and vulnerable women lacked a father figure.
Three years into my singleness a dark fear started to set in. My little girls had forgotten what it was like to have a dad. As much as I tried to be a good mom, I could never fill the void their father had left.
My daily prayer went something like this…
”Lord, I don’t know if you have noticed but Alexis and Emily are growing up without a father. Also, I don’t know if you know the statistics of what happens to girls that don’t have a dad? I have done tons of research and I would be happy to show it to you. It’s not very positive…just so you know.”
The signs we were missing something were everywhere. For some reason the girls’ school performances were the hardest. I would sit in the auditorium alone, surrounded by thirty dads with half their faces covered by camcorders, the other half smiling from ear to ear. It always left me with a pit in my stomach and an ache in my heart.
I had several interested, eligible men show up at my front door over the years. Some were handsome, some were wealthy, some were good men, and some were all of the above. I could have married a “nice guy” ten times over. But my girls didn’t need just a nice guy, they needed a father.
I never went looking, I never really dated—I just focused on my girls and my work. I figured God knew my address. If He wanted me to meet someone, He could send him to me.
And He did.
One night working at a counseling center for women, run by an all female staff, a tall blonde man walked into our center. He was like an alien in a foreign land. My receptionist almost froze completely. No one knew what he wanted, but he asked for me by name, so I had her send him back to my office.
His confidence was evident. This man knew who he was, he knew where he was going, and he knew exactly what he wanted…
He wanted me.
I was intrigued. I had never met anyone like him before. His depth and passion drew me to him. When I saw the way he was with his three sons, I was done.
Eleven months later I married him standing next to my two daughters (7 and 9) and his three sons (3,6 & 8). Everything was beautiful…but nothing was easy.
We fought with everything we had to make our marriage and our family thrive. No one will ever know the demons we had to fight to keep our tribe together. Thank God we never gave up. Our family is a living, breathing testament of unconditional love and endurance.
Last week our 25 year old daughter, Alexis, skyped us from Colorado while we were working in our little apartment in Spain.
I was excited to talk to her, but she looked right past me to my husband of fifteen years and with a quiver of her chin and tears brimming her lashes she choked out, “Hi, Daddy”.
I took my cue and went to kitchen to give them privacy; clearly, Alexis just needed her dad.
I started the dishes and a few minutes later, I heard a strange sound coming from my man. I opened the door to see him weeping and looking intensely into our daughters face on his computer, barely able to contain his emotions. Tears were streaming down his face as words of love and encouragement poured from his lips.
“Alexis you are so beautiful in every way. God has the most amazing man for you— not a boy, but a man. Not just any man, but one that will be brave enough to ask me for permission to pursue you. He will be strong enough to lead you and protect you, and he will be smart enough to adore you. He will be worth the wait!”
I could see Alexis’s face begin to relax and soften as the words of her daddy penetrated her wounded heart. Our little girl was trying to recover after breaking up with a “nice guy”.
I walked back to the kitchen and closed the door. I leaned over the sink and let my own tears hit the dishes below. All those years I was so focused on my little girls having a Daddy, my Heavenly Father was bringing us a man that wouldn’t just care for the little girls but would be a true father to our adult daughters… a man that would always be there, for their entire life.
I want to encourage everyone who reads this to trust, to focus on becoming their best self, and to wait. Marriage is a forever covenant and should never be entered into because of loneliness or frustration.
Trust me, it was well worth the wait.
As we live as “Volunteers”/”Missionaries” out here in Mijas, Spain we need your prayer and financial support. OurFoundation is a public charity and every gift you give, from $5 a month or more is tax-deductible, and helps sustain our daily lives and helps us build for the future. Any one-time or monthly gift really does affect our family on a daily basis. Please go to New Horizons Website and look around. We can do matching gifts with corporations, receive gifts from Estates, from Stocks etc. And, please seriously consider supporting us monthly and with your one-time charity. We believe we are right where we are suppose to be, and your generosity proves that to us every day.
There are three easy and secure ways to partner with us on our quest for a generation…
1) Online at:
New Horizons Foundation TeamBlack 417
*there is an option for one time donations or reoccurring donations. We are a “Public Charity” with full tax-deduction and matching gifts.
2) Mail a check to:
New Horizons Foundation
5550 Tech Center Dr., Ste. 303 Colorado Springs, CO 80919
*Please include in memo of Check “TeamBlack 417”
3) Text “TB” from you cell phone to 719.445.8383 and follow the link.
From Gary, Lisa, Caleb and Noah – thank you so much for joining us on this journey, we are praying for you daily, and please email back any and all prayer needs and requests.